the inner child

11:13 am: so many options

i have to many choices to make. which is good and bad.

09:39 am: this is crazy

i was just tooling around on the computer and saw something about livejournal and i thought to myself "i wonder who still posts on it and i wonder if my account is still set up?". and low and behold it is! so i decided to back track and read some of my old stuff. i was disppointed to see how bitter and angry and depressed i was for so long. and how all of my old friends helped get me through it and gave me support. i really miss everyone.

02:09 pm: don't start no shit, won't be no shit.
so last night.

elbows thrown. dirt kicked in the eyes. good old fashioned shin kicking. lowe's select is #1.

we actually just played each other, the kid's practice was cancelled, but we had enough to play with ourselves. (the little ten year old boy in me just giggled). it was a good time. i think my team won, but i don't know for sure. me and my sis were team captains. everyone got a kick at how much she and i were the same person. and she didn't suck, so i didn't mind having her around.

i need to get away from lowe's. there is just to much drama to behold. it's like the theatre department, but a million times faster. i have never seen gossip travel so fast in my entire life.

when i have bourbon, bad things happen.

01:44 pm: tonight is the mother of all soccer showdowns.

lowe's select soccer team featuring a bunch of drinkers and smokers versus some group of junior high school kids. i can't wait! the game is at 4 this afternoon. i am going to be doing some major coughing since i am still fighting a cold.


questions for annamaria: can you paint the walls of your apartment?
what number do you live in?

04:30 pm: well, well, well.

last night, i had four pints and six bottles of beer. i kicked some ass in darts and had mine kicked in air hockey.

i went home with mike the tiger and crawled out his window this morning.

tomorrow night, i am supposed to go to the station. a place i have avoided like the plague, i even try to not notice their stupid billboards on college drive.

what has happened to me? all the cool people at lowe's will be attending a fellow co-worker's show there tomorrow. i guess i'll go. but, the station? ewwww.

10:28 pm: can't we all just get along?

can't we all just find a way to make opening cd's easier?

can't we all just be play hopping millionaires?

can't we all just have perfect hair?

can't we all just love Journey?

can't we all just go to 80's night and drink and dance and squish into the really small bathroom?

07:03 am: does anyone need a roommate?

i can't keep doing this. i can't keep living in a tight space a million miles from everywhere. i drive two hours a day. when i get home, i don't have time for anything. my fucking phone doesn't even work out here. i am thankful for the roommates i have now. i needed them and i landed on them without much warning and they made it happen. but i can't keep living off their generosity. it's not in my nature and i am going nuts. i need to have a place where i can keep things altogether. not 80% in a storage unit in baker. i need my paint supplies. i came here to create a better lifestyle and get my shit together to make myself a better person. but, i can't do it living off of someone and commuting here and there, and when that gets old sleeping over at people's houses. using them.


this has to stop. i need to move now. i can't keep waiting.



wendy, what is your landlord's number? i want to see if there is anything available in your building.


lauren.

10:05 pm: today's cold weather was brought to you by the o'neill family that frequent the baton rouge high school soccer field. after six games of yelling taunts at the big fat lesbian of a soccer coach my sister has, she finally listened and subbed other players. i know it means nothing to those of you reading this, but today was a great day.

today actually was a great day. last night i went and drank whiskey and smoked cigars with my brother and some friends from high school. we went to churchills, a very posh place indeed. i was asked what i thought of the economic status of something or another here in baton rouge. i think it was a pick up line, i don't know.

anyways. i take a big test on tuesday. as part of my new year's resollution to get my shit together, this test will help on that quest.

i am really annoyed at the fact that i can't seem to find a place to live. baton rouge hates me because i have abandoned it and am now trying to move back.


today's hightlight of the day: i got to watch the "love is a battlefield" video today. i would like to come back as pat benatar, just in case anyone was wondering.

10:01 am: last night was such a good night. a heart warming night. so many people i haven't seen in so long. last night when i looked around the room, i realized that so many of those people were my family. the ones who helped me through a whole lot of shit and the ones that were there for me, whether i had locked myself out of my house or i was too drunk to drive home or even worse.

last night was good. everyone looked good and seemed humble.

i smiled alot last night.

02:47 pm: in one hour i will take the GRE. i must pass this stupid, motherfucking test today. if not then my life plans are going to have be put on hold for a year. well, that may be a lie. but, it would be nice to do good on it the first time around so i don't have to dread it anymore. i can retake it. i just have to have all my shit turned in before march 15.

anyone want to write me a recommendation for graduate school?